Ask any hot-headed dad what Christmas is all about, and you know what’s coming. He’ll tell you that Christmas isn’t about sharing gifts with loved ones or celebrating a birth from a couple of millennia ago. Oh no. Christmas can only mean one thing: Stopping Hans Gruber from stealing 640 million dollars from Nakatomi Plaza.
That’s right. When the family feast is done and the presents are distributed, it’s time for the lazy afternoon movie. If you’ve got a dad who’d rather hit the TV with a sledgehammer than watch Love Actually, then it’s a given that Die Hard is about to get played – again.
While nobody can deny the greatness of Bruce Willis’ finest Christmas movie, you might want to suggest one of these handy alternatives before that old Die Hard DVD gets wheeled out yet again.
Kicking off the list is this action comedy classic from 1989. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover play completely different cops forced to work together to bust a drug smuggling ring. It’s got just about as much high octane explosive action as Die Hard, and with Christmas arriving at the end of the movie, it totally counts.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
James Bond does Christmas? You better believe it! In his sole outing as Bond, Australian actor George Lazenby plays 007 as he confronts his old nemesis Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who plans to [chortle] unleash a deadly virus on the world. If that doesn’t already sound topical enough, the whole story takes place in the days leading up to Christmas. The film has enough alpine action to get you clutching that warm mug of eggnog just to stay warm. Just don’t tell dad there’s a love story in there too…
The Long Kiss Goodnight
The last film on our list is a real surprise. Geena Davis plays the amnesiac Samantha Caine, who soon finds herself hunted by assassins from her unknown past. It’s Christmas time again, and if she and Samuel L. Jackson can’t discover who she really is soon, it just might bury them both. Don’t let the mushy title fool you. This film packs a tonne of explosives – and the body count is well into the double digits. It’s also about family, motherly love and Christmas cheer, but with shootouts as loud as these, dad will be glad you slipped this one into his stocking – guaranteed.
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